“Crossing the Bridge into the Second Half of Life” by Christina Becker

Psychology

May 8

From July 2, 2019

“Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.” – Tom Stoppard

Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.” – Tom Stoppard“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” ― Carl Jung

The Initiation into the Second Half of Life

The road that would take us to the top of the mountain in Southern India was very narrow and winding. I felt a mixture of awe and anxiety as the bus driver swerved around the sharp turns avoiding oncoming traffic. This road could not possibly accommodate two directions; miraculously it did. Outside of my bus window, a hillside tea plantation stretched for as far as the eye could see. Women carried large woven baskets which hung from their heads and were harvesting the tea leaves.

This 4-week pilgrimage to India was a turning point for me. I had been dissatisfied with my life and the career path I was on. I had lost something in the process of building a life that was expected of me. I wanted it back. I had taken three years to freelance and to be in my first Jungian Analysis. This period was a soul-searching journey into me. Whether it was heading toward the proverbial top of the mountain in Southern India or having my life flash before my eyes, I found that answer on this bus. “What do I want to do with the rest of my life,” I asked myself. What emerged from deep within me like a bubble of clarity and knowing “I want to go into training to be a Jungian analyst.”

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This decision was the first step in what would become a much larger path characteristic of my second half of life.

Jung saw life divided into two halves with a transition or middle stage separating them. For him, the shift into the second half of life is marked by a search for meaning as there is a consideration of the end of our lives. He noticed that people naturally seek a “spiritual outlook” with the asking of the big questions.

Spiritual Versus Religious attitude

Many people say that they are “spiritual” but not religious. According to Jung, a search for meaning is innate. We need to be connected to something larger. Yet there is a distinction between living a spiritual life and following a religion.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest, makes the distinction between the performance aspect of following the law of religion and the mystical relationship to something larger. In his view, the former defines our spiritual life as following the laws of the church. The structure of the doctrines defines our spiritual self-worth, so to speak. If we follow the rules of the church, we think of ourselves as good, righteous and moral.

“Yet many Catholics I meet—religious, laity, and clergy—are still trapped inside the law, believing that by doing good things or going to church, they’re going to somehow attain worthiness or acceptance from God.” (Richard Rohr Daily Meditation March 22, 2019)

The shift comes when we stop looking at a God out there and turn our attention inwardly to what Jung called the Self – the inner divine intelligence within the psyche. The turn inward involves finding our True Self and the Soul. This gives us the chance for spiritual enlargement and true individuation as we peel away the layers of conditioning of religion, society, tribe, and parents. We are called to “stand in the presence of our own mystery and become more fully responsible for who we are in this journey we call our life.”

Mid-life Crisis as Initiation

At these times of initiation, life comes to knock us for a loop – loss of a job, breakdown of a marriage, a major health issue or the death of a loved one. Yes, there is deep suffering involved and the universal pattern of death and resurrection is also available. During these difficult times, we must let go of the ego attachment to life as we knew it. This means letting go of the identification with the values of others and of society to encounter our values that come deep within. Jung said, “an encounter with the Self is always a defeat for the ego.”

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Here is how Richard Rohr describes it:

“While revering the mystery of others, our individuation summons each of us to stand in the presence of our own mystery, and become more fully responsible for who we are in this journey we call our life. So often the idea of individuation has been confused with self-indulgence or mere individualism, but what individuation more often asks of us is the surrender of the ego’s agenda of security and emotional reinforcement, in favor of humbling service to the soul’s intent. . . . “

What does it mean to psychologically grow up?

As adults, we don’t often think that we have not grown up. After all, we have jobs, pay our bills and tend to our responsibilities as best we can. Being psychologically grown-up is a much harder process and one that we endeavor and tackle daily. The central part of growing up is looking within as honestly as we can. In this process, we must take responsibility for ourselves and our reactions, and not blame others for the wows.

We own our own emotional life and our suffering.

The etymology of the word “suffer” comes the Latin and means “to bear” or “to carry.” From the writings of Helen Luke, we get an image of an undercarriage that bears the weight of a vehicle above the wheels, alluding to the psychological experience of carrying the weight of our sins or transgressions.

We can’t look outside ourselves for the solution to our problems or to others to do the hard inner work as we ask the hard questions of:
– Who am I?
– What is my legacy?
– Why has my soul come to this life and what is life about?

Rumi is quoted by James Hollis; “So man has come into the world for a particular task and that is his purpose. If he doesn’t perform it, he will have done nothing.”

Questions for Journal Reflections

1) Reflect on the moment or moments in your life when you needed to grow up fast. What was that like? How did you react to them?
2) Do you consider yourself spiritual, religious or both? In your opinion, what is the difference?
3) During times of initiation, we have to give something up in order to start something anew. What would you like to give up in an effort to clear space for something more beneficial to your life?

Christina Becker
July 2019

SOURCE: The Jungian Path

Carl JungSecond Half of Life